Ok, im back!!!  wednesday afternoon and i have a 15 pager to write today! eeek  And i cant stay up all night writing it because i have a final at 4 tomorrow that i need to be awake for.  

saturday night i was a little riled up... sorry.  But im ok now.

so since friday i have been rocking the awesome highwaisted black skirt from H+M, and i looove it!  Its a little tight but.. its hot! hahaha, wes said it makes me look like a grandma, great. but i dont think it does.  I also got a new swimsuit last friday that i am really looking forward to wearing.  Its going to be perfect for swiming at the river and hot tubbing at best west.  Im looking for a one piece though.. to wear waterfall hiking with my campers, and to the water parks with my fam.  I dont want to be the slutty cousin, right?

oooooh! so i bought fish yesterday! i have been wanting new ones since my last one died.  her name was sandy not sandy or cindy (dont ask, or do, its a good story) and barb and i got her at the fair.  Stir fry and gabe won us a bunch of fish, but we killed them by not letting enough surface area to breath... i literally suffacated them to death, isnt that terrible?!  who knew, once i wikipediaded it they were already dead.  But im doing right by these ones! Talia bought me a fish tank for christmas, and yesterday her wes and i went to pet co and picked them out, see-

so the big orange one wes named julius, like an orange julius, and hes sort of agressive, so i thought it was like king julious.  The orange and white ones name is theodora.  I thought it sounded dramatic.  and if you look in the left hand corner there is a tiny peach one i named bella (from twilight, im a dork, i know) annnnd there is another tiny one that is half bellas size that we named little domer.  Bella and little domer were both feeder fish, and i rescued them from being a turtles lunch.  Basically im in love with them, and im sitting her writing my paper with them... teeheehee

oooh, and im eating pad thai, yummy.  I wish i was a rich girl, so i could get yummy dilivery all day when i didnt want to leave the house, instead i just have microwaveable trader joes : (

hahaha, and last night i called anthony to talk, and i left him a message saying "hey otto, its mariana wheeland... um, i had lost my phone, but i just got it back, i had alot of missed calls from you, so im just calling back to see whats up, bye"

hahahaha and anthony left me a voice mail this morning saying: "hey mariana... its otto.........................................uh bye" 

HAHAHAHAH

love it, i dont know why i think its so funny, i just do.  I love that mariana and bobby mahler are like out there somewhere, or not, but its funny to think about it.

OH and speaking of spring awakening! glee was on last night! and everyone keeps talking about it, so weird!  Lea Michelle is like a household name now, or she will be.  I think shes about to be the next big thing, and now im kicking my self for not having my picture taken with her. Oh well, i have her autograph, i mean, shes not even nice anyways.  But jenna, she plays Tina on the show, was at the halloween party in LA, and she was super nice.  hahahaha, and i convinced anthony to give her a lap dance... little did i know.  But the show was great, and it has given me this serious love hate relationship with Lea, shes so fucking fabulous, but does that make it ok that shes a bitch? hmm... ill answer that, to some degree... yes!

ok, well i could go on forever, but i have a paper to finish before tomorrow!  Sooooo, adios amigos.  But after this i am DONE!!!!! whooo

yeah..

ok, im exhausted and i have to get up early...

hmmm, ok, a few things on my mind.  First, i just saw adventure land, and it was pretty cute.  I just dont know about kristen stuart...  ok, so i didnt really like that she was chosen to play bella, i feel like shes just to manly to play and ingénue, but then she drove me even more crazy today when she was like the same character in adventure land as in twilight, her signature "emotional" expression is this little sigh thing, i dont know

but the movie was cute, and the main boy was cute.  It was a good love story.

and i bought new clothes today, I AM SO BAD! I SHOP WAY TO MUCH! its an addiction, and ive tryed to get help, but its hard to find.

soooo, i got this great grey tank top, a high waisted black skirt (which is the item i set out to buy!) and this beautiful purple bikini with gold stiching.  all from H+M, maybe ill post pictures later.

Ive also been reading Vogue and Thrasher.... hahaha, isnt that funny that the two magazines im reading right now are vogure and thrasher?! 

ok, so that last part of the blog i wrote like two days ago...

but now im home, and im so upset that im like shaking.  I wont go into the details, but can i just say that i think that alot of people out there do not take their relationships and friendships with people younger than them seriously.  i mean, parents dont even take their jobs as parents seriously! and im sick and tired of it!  I think people need to care about something, and to step up to the plate and do whats right for the people around them.  I just care about my campers so much, so much that im crying right now thinking about them and how im so glad its not one of them in this situation, but how i know that they face stuff like this every day because this world is so fucked up and no one gives a shit, not even their parents. And sometimes i freak out when i think about how far away they are, and how i have no control over what happens to them.  All i get is one week... one week! and i get those 7 days to have as much positive influence as i possibly can... and then i send them out into this world and hope that they make smart choices, and figure out a way to be a good human being that makes this thing we call life a little easier for all of us.

im just sick of all the people around me that dont care about anything, that dont take them selves seriously.  That dont do anything for anyone, that think its enough to just "live life to the fullest" and leave... if we dont commit to making things better for each other why are we here?

it just breaks my heart... I miss Bailey, im crying because she is out there somewhere doing god knows what, and all i can do, is pray from the bottom of my heart that someone is doing right by her, because that little girl deserevs the whole freakin world, and im crying because... i dont think people are giving it to her.  and it just makes me so sad to realize that the people  around me, the people im closest with dont even get this.   I just hope that someone out there does, and that i find them.  

every young person deserves a chance. and i want to do everything i possibly can in my life time to give them that chance, and i pray every day that god lay the path in front of me that i can walk and do the most good.  that i can benefit as many children as i possibly can, to the largest extent possible.

and i just pray taht where ever Bailey is right now, she is safe, and loved, and happy.

i want that more than anything in this entire world.

i guess this issue tonight just brought out alot of emotions in me.  This blog was supposed to be about fashion and the cute new high wasted black skirt i got at H+M yesterday... but if you want to know what i really care about, what i really spend my time thinking about and doing, you just heard.

i think that everyone should go into this world and do the best they can to make it a better place for their fellow man, citizens, humans, whatever.  If where not her to do that? what the hell are we doing here?  And everyone has the ability to do this, and it just depends on whether they step up to the plate and decide to take on the challenge of making the world a better place.  And i just hope most of all that people enter into relationships with people, especially young people, with intention to do them some good.  To influence their life for the better, and that that relation ship is not about what they can gain from it, but what the younger person can.

i guess ill talk more about the highwaisted black skirt tomorrow.

I love you campers, wherever you are, i love you more than words can explain, and i hope you feel that in your heart, and i cant wait to see you this summer.

Child Labor, Elphaba, Library

hmm.. i dont have to much to say tonight.  I dont think anyone is even reading this, lol.

Today i just went to work, for wicked, and vicki noon was fierce as always, and at first i didnt really like the way kendra was playing galinda, but its really grown on me, and now i always watch "popular" 

So the girl playing elphaba in the pictures is Teal Wicks, shes pretty great too, but she has only gone on like twice in the last two months.  Vicki is amazing, teal is too though... i liked getting to see both, it kept it fresh

those pictures make me feel pretty lucky to have the job that i have. 

Tomorrow is my last day of class, and then i just have next thursday, and i only have a final and a check in class.  so nice!

Im writing my final paper for my labor studies class on child labor, and the photographs done by Lewis Hine documenting the child workers.  There are lots of stories of people seeing family members in these photographs and telling the untold story of how their life unfolded.  It would seem to me that spending your childhood in a factory would lead to a not so great adult life... but my research has just begun, so we'll just have to wait and see!

here is one of his photo graphs, im reading a fictional novel a woman wrote in order to create a story for this girl:

OH! and i also am completely obsessed with this blog:  Sea of Shoes

go check it out, there was a story about this girl in teen vogue, and she was definitely  my inspiration to start this blog! 

and i spent some time today at the big down town public library, and it made me miss going to the big one in NYC.  its so big! when i leave the city one day, that is definitely going to be something i miss.  Its such a beautiful space, but it smells like homeless people, so sometimes its not worth it.  But i checked out this book about the lady who invented the Barbie doll, basically a biography on her, and it looks super interesting.  i just have to get everything else finished before i read it.

well i think thats it, ill end with a great Elphaba quote

"UNLIMITED, my future is Unlimited, and ive just had a vision almost like a prophecy, i know, it sounds truly crazy, and true the visions hazy, but i swear someday there'll be, a celebration, throughout oz, thats all to do with ME!"

sunset

thats me and Vicki Noon, the fierce girl who plays Elphaba in SF most nights... we are at party to celebrate our theaters success in raising money for Broadway Cares Equity Fights Aids, shes like an inspiration for living, and she told me that she never went to theater school! isnt that crazy!

so yay! Im back in my room! lol, i love when its all sunny and pretty in here, but the sun is about to go down : (

So today was my second to last day of class, i just have thursday and then a final next thursday.  But in both my classes today we were having class discussions.  In my CAD class we are talking about this book called Whatever It Takes, its about this organization called the Harlem Childrens Zone, they are this amazing organization that is trying to give all kids an equal start.  This guy named Geoffry Canada has raised a lot of money to create this conveyor belt of programs that bring a poor child from harlem strait from the womb to college.  I read the book last week and i was upssessed with it.  Canada is inspirational and effective.  He has created this conveyor belt, and its working!

Heres a video about the organization:

i could go on forever about how wonderful i think this program is, and more so how i think this kids who are making it to college, and getting college educations have the potential to be our well educated and empowered leaders of the future, the ones who might finally have the perspective to overthrow this awful capitalistic society that we live in, and change the structure of America so that poverty no longer exists, and children who need these types of programs no longer exist.

so.... i have been thinking alot in this past year about moving back to New York... but i havent made any real decisions about it.  I have been thinking and praying alot about my life and purpose and stuff, and asking god to place infront of me a challenge and a situation in which i can make a difference.  and i think this is it.  Today in class it finally clicked.  I want to move to NYC in a few years, work for a broadway show at nights and on weekends, and work for the Harlem Childrens Zone and Geoffry Canada.  For good reason Canada hardly ever hires white people, but hopefully my experience studying abroad will make me qualified.  Even if i was able to volunteer for some part of the program, i think i could learn a lot.  So this is now in my 5 year plan, which is always changing, but not to frequently i guess.

Then, in my Labor studies class we are reading a book called "Solidarity Divided" by Bill Fletcher, Bill Fletcher Jr. and Fernando Gapasin.  My labor studies class has been very interesting, as well as very boring at times.  But there were some parts of this book that really jumped out at me and have helped me come to a better understanding of race, labor, and class in american society.  Just learning about how capitalism functions has been mind blowing, how the structure of the system it self is what allows oppression to continue in perpituity, and of course those that run the system do a very good job at making sure us poor folk, aka 90% america is ignorant to how this is happening.  Capitalism is the cause of those poor kids in harlem, they are the reason that things like the Harlem Childrens Zone have to exist. so anyways... heres a quote:

"Class struggle and trade union struggle are not necessarily the same thing.  Trade union struggle is a subset of class struggle.  Class struggle emerges from a simple dynamic: in a society with a social surplus and a division between those who produce and those who make decisions, a struggle inevitable occurs over that surplus.  insofar as the surplus ultimately results form the uncompensated labor power of workers and those workers-- whether working or rendered "redundant"--have not say over the disposition of that surplus, an antagonism develops between those who possess the means of distributing that surplus (and thus hold power) and those who do not: those with the means to distribute the surplus ultimately control societies means of production, distribution and exchange.

Class struggle, then , is not something that can be turned on and off: it can, however , take various forms, depending on the leadership of the contending sides.  It can also be influenced by conditions external to the society in which it occurs.  Class struggle, in other words, is not a situation in which workers or unions create "problems" but a social interaction resulting from the nature of a class society

Class struggle is built into the fabric of all societies that have classes.  it is not just a matter of what does or does not take place in a particular workplace or set of workplaces.  It also involves who can live in what sections of a city, who is exposed to toxic wastes, who gets access to what sorts of education, whose votes are counted in elections, and who pays attention to greenhouse gases"

well... thats about it, for now anyways lol. the sun is almost setting, so sad, good bye day, hello night

morning

so i love morning in my room. especially when im all by myself casue steff has left for school.  i have been really happy just lying around my room lately.  work is just so stressful, and i love being in my room by myself where no one can bug me.   

ok, weirdest thing happened to me this morning! i woke up with these really tan spots on my hands... like i put fake tanner on and forgot to wash it off my hads or something.  but i realized it was because i ate some cheeries before i went to sleep last night, and i didnt wash my hands, so that must be what they put in fake tanner! the juice from dark red cheeries! im gonna start making my own! lol, but i hope this comes off my hands!

i was up late last night looking at layouts for this thing, the site i was looking at was taking forever to load, and i picked this one... im not inlove with it, but for now im gonna keep it.

do i have to get out of bed?

i have to have read this section of a book by class today, we were supposed to have read section 4, but i started reading section 5, and its awful! i got like half way through it and then had to stop, when i realized i was supposed to be reading section 5 all along. ugh

well here are some pictures of "my girls" hahaha, i love looking on their fan sites and seeing what they are wearing, because sometimes its brilliant! 

like, look at taylors headband! only she could pull that off, although i think i might try, and vanessas outfit at the bottom, PERFECT i need those shoes and sun glasses.  if only the weather was warm enough here in san francisco for things like that. ugh i want my car!

ok.... so i guess im off to try to scrub this cheery juice off, and to read that stupid section 5 in my book! then meet with my professor. 

hi, hello, welcome, goodnight

well hello there... today while sitting on muni, and just listening to my thoughts, something told me to start this.  Who knows, this could be my only post, maybe no one will ever read it... but i like to think that maybe something i post would be interesting to someone else out there 

sooooo, school is almost out! i have one paper left to write, and two tests.  I am hopefully buying a car in the next few weeks, which will make my world a better place.

I basically think this is going to be a place where i just post stuff that is inspiring to me at the time, and right now there are a few things on my mind- mainly Taylor Swift, and Spring Awakening.  I cant stop listening to Taylor, and i just bought her itunes live in soho album, and i love it! all my friends are like "what is with this country?" hahaha, but shes amazing! she is just like a girl who understands the feeling of summer air, and being in love, and best of all, she still dreams about being a princess. lol.  Then there is spring awakening... which i guess im never not thinking about.  LoL, my friend claire just left the tour cast, and she the first to leave, and shes one of the few people in the cast that im actually friends with.  Its just sad that the show is already beggining its downward slump in my life, i mean, i guess not, its just weird that i wont be seeing claire when i go visit in a few weeks.  You know sometimes in life when you meet someone and you just click with them? but the situation your in with them is limited, like with claire i only was in the same city as her for a short amount of time, but i just know that if we spent more time together we would be great friends. Anyways... i hope we stay friends. 

So this is Claires goodbye video that Anthony made for her, and both times ive watched i was sobbing by the end

and this is Taylor Swifts new video... and i think she was reading my mind when she wrote this song, because yeah, ive been in this situation.  She is so cute and perfectly dorky in this video, i adore her.

well, i think thats gonna be all for tonight.  Its been fun, so i think ill post more tomorrow, then maybe ill tell some people about it so they might actually read it...